16 posts tagged “mobile”

Sometimes I dread going to sleep at night. Because I know that once I lay down and try to drift off the stupid thoughts come. The thoughts that tell me I'm worthless and there's nothing for me and its all a hopeless joke and I should just stop kidding myself because nothing is ever going to happen for me in any kind of way just little bits of happiness and hope that only exist to be ripped away as if to say 'i told you so'. Its a nightmare. Only this nightmare I can't wake up from. This nightmare is my own mind and I can't control it the way you can a dream or a nightmare. I can't wake up from my own mind. I can only pray for sleep and sweet dreams to replace my unexcapable mind.

So after picking up my trash bags at rite aid I decided to do a little exploring...and well I've found a mcdonalds...i haven't had fast food other than dunkin donuts (and to me bagels and coffee don't count as fast food) and this is awesome! There's some more stuff down here and after I finish my fries I fully entend to scope it all out. Yay I'm not totally bored!!!

fa(s)t food

I'm locked out of both my building...and my room. Somehow I have managed to leave both my I'd to get into the building...and my room key...in the actual room. Plus my roommates are gone or in classes. And on top of that I just burned the shit out of my mouth and the back of my throat. And its raining. And for some reason I couldn't work my lighter because my hands hurt from the cold. I might just be a nerd and go to the school library.

Locked out...

It's been so long since I had a cigarette...i finally had one yesterday and my freaking hands were shaking as I brought the thing up to my mouth...and then I had one today cos I'm stressed as hell about the freaking exam I have tomorrow. And now I'm working late on my photoshop proj. :( Procrastination sucks...but I love it.

workin late...

I'm finally 18. And I can buy my own smokes. Yay. Have you ever felt like everyone was laughing at you even though you have no proof. I almost always feel like that. You know, its kimda like if I'm not in on the joke than it must be about me? Yeah it sucks being so paranoid but what can I do? anyway I've been trying to learn the japanese 'alphabet' and so far I have five characters down lol. I found this website that has free japanese lessons and I'm sure I'll be complete crap at it by the end of all the lessons but at least I'll have a little knowledge or whatever.

OK so...Im on break from my 3D class and I've been here for about two hours which means I don't have much longer thank god. Again on the bright side...today hasn't been terrible! My teacher was pretty understanding about me 'not feeling well' this morning as long as I don't get too far behind on my project or something...and I'm not even stressed about that because well...I actually have an idea of what I'm doing this time and I actually started this one early so I'm not doing my usual last minute bit yay me! I just hope class goes by fast so I can get the hell outta here. You know I noticed something...I have no friggin problem talking to people...its just they have to talk to me first usually. Like I'm not shy, I've been over that for a while now! I just...dont talk to people first most of the time. But when they talk to me I have no problem conversing with them...usually lol. Well I have to get back to work and junk...

Mood shawing!

I hate my 3D class...and I'm tired as fuck so...Im skipping the first half because of 'illness' I guess. Then I'll go to lunch and then finish the rest of the day there :D Elementary my dear Watson. Oh I went to a drag ball yesterday and had fun AND got some hours for my work study! Yay money! Even though its crap pay but you know...whatever lol

imma bad bad boi...

Fuck the world fuck the world fuck them all to hell!!!

And this is how I feel...

There are people in the next room doing acid...and I'm going to bed at eleven thirty...*le sigh* the story of my life...

So ok...today isn't horrible. Which is pretty good because this weekend sucked like hell. But today doesn't feel too yerrible so far and I hope it stays this way if it doesn't get better. There's this really cute guy I'm just going to call C and I noticed him since day one...he's an RA in my building and he's tall and Asian and GORGEOUS. And he said hi to me today lol and he smiled. And ok I know I'm totally high school to be getting excited about a 'hi' and a smile but...I mean what can I say? I'm just lame like that lol

Poop and a half but not really...