uh...today...

My instructor pulled me aside after class and asked me if I was ok. Seriously...I'm usually good at hiding when stuff is crap but I guess today I was just out of it because after class I came home and just...slept.  For about three hours mind you. I dont know what's going on but I kinda feel like Im spiraling. And I really hope I get this job because I feel like right now it's the only thing that's going to reverse the uh...spiral. So the finale of Project Runway is today (yes Im one of those) And Im just saying...Im nervous like it's me or some shit. Why does tv do that huh? Well now I have to do a bunch of stuff because that's just how today worked out I guess...I hope things pick up I really do because well...I just dont know if I can do this that much longer. Im really trying not to break but...I don't know. Today I kept telling myself: 'You are not alone, you are independent and you don't need a million people to make you happy' So I guess...that's going to be my mantra in my head from now on because I think it kinda worked and made me feel a little better. I already know that if I get a job it'll do me good. ALOTTA good. I'll have money, I'll be doing something that's worth something. Im one of those people who need to work you know? I can't explain it I just...I feel so much better about myself when I have a job. I don't know if it makes any sense but that's how I am. Kay people bye and stuff.